San
Francisco, CA — On Monday history was made at the Chapel of Our Lady at
the Presidio in San Francisco as the first-ever state
recognized human-animal marriage took place. Local resident 35-year-old
Paul Horner was the groom during the ceremony. Joining him was his
faithful dog Mac who is 36-years-old in dogyears. Mac also decided to
be the groom but ended up wearing a white veil at the last moment.
Father
McHale who officiated the outdoor wedding told reporters he
was extremely happy to be a part of this joyous moment of life. “This is
the definition of true love my friends. There is nothing more sacred
than
the bond between a man and his faithful
dog,” McHale said. “Now, since it is recognized as a legally binding
marriage in the state of California, Mr. Horner and Mac will have all
the same tax benefits and
So how could this have happened?
In the book of California’s State Laws and
Regulations there is a little known law that was passed as the state was
first forming in 1850. According to article 155, paragraph 10, it
clearly states:
If a man and a man can get married
and a woman and a woman can get married, if ever comes that day, then a
human and animal will have the exact same rights to marriage in every
eye of the law. God help us if this ever is to happen!
In attendance was Horner’s entire
family who flew in from Hawaii to witness the event. Mac had her
puppies on hand and making a special celebrity appearance was Alex from
Stroh’s and Spuds
Mckenzie.
“I just love my Mac so much, I can’t
wait till we can finally get back to the honeymoon sweet in Montana
where bestiality is legal. Gosh, get with the times California! We can
marry here just fine,
but love making is a big no-no,” said
Horner. “People keep asking me why I wanted to marry a dog. I told them
I just want the same god given rights that every person in California
is allowed to have. Don’t tell me
I can’t marry my dog. I don’t tell
you that you can’t marry a 500 lb woman with gas issues. That’s your
decision. Don’t tread on me. I love my dog and I know he loves me a
hundred times more than any gay wedding out there.”
With this wedding between a man and a male dog now on the books, one can only ask what is in store next?
A man marrying a toaster? A toaster marrying a dog? A toaster marrying a toas
