Sunday, 15 December 2013

My marriage ended after my husband moved his 'electro-witch' lover into our home: Mother of brain tumour boy Neon reveals the REAL reason for her divorce

Smiling broadly as they splash contentedly around in a pool, the suntanned man and his bikini-clad partner could be any couple enjoying some rare British summer sun. 
But this is Ben Roberts, father of young brain tumour sufferer Neon, with his new lover.
Now, for the first time, it is claimed that their secret affair was the reason that Ben split from his estranged wife Sally.
All smiles: Ben, Sally and Neon together in 2011, before the little boy fell victim to cancer
All smiles: Ben, Sally and Neon together in 2011, before the little boy fell victim to cancer
In a state of despair, she then went on the run with her son because she did not want doctors to treat his cancer with radiotherapy.
Sally has previously spoken only to defend her approach to her son’s cancer treatment and has maintained a dignified silence on the subject of her marriage breakdown.
However, now – on the first anniversary of the police hunt for her and Neon – friends have revealed the full story of the split. And Sally has confirmed that her ex had an affair with a woman who shared their family home.
 
    Musician Michele Adamson, who styles herself as ‘the electro witch’ with her psychedelic band Shpongle, was a close friend of Ben’s and remained so during his relationship and subsequent marriage to Sally. 
    She even moved into their family home in Devon in a bizarre set-up which left villagers bemused. Michele and Ben are now living together while Sally is preparing for a divorce. 
    When approached at her new home in Brighton, Sally said: ‘I am not prepared to lie about this. Ben and Michele have been in a relationship for more than two years now. 
    'They embarked on that relationship in our marital home while I was still married to Ben. He finally admitted to me he was having an affair in May 2012. It was an awful period in my life.’
    For her part, Michele vehemently denies that her relationship with Ben caused the bitter estrangement between husband and wife.
    But whatever the messy truth, no one can dispute that Sally is devastated by the actions of her husband, and the ordeal of seeing Neon suffer.  
    Ben and Sally have been locked in a protracted legal battle since last December when a court ordered that Neon – who had his brain tumour removed a month earlier – should be taken into the care of the NHS to undergo compulsory treatment.
    Long relationship: Ben and Michelle in a friend's swimming pool. The self-styled 'electro-witch' had shared the family home
    Long relationship: Ben and Michelle in a friend's swimming pool. The self-styled 'electro-witch' had shared the family home
    Loving mother: A radiant Sally proudly clutches her son Neon close. He is still cancer free after nearly a year of treatment
    Loving mother: A radiant Sally proudly clutches her son Neon close. He is still cancer free after nearly a year of treatment
    Sally had been branded a witch for her beliefs in complementary and alternative therapies, which she felt would mitigate the effects of the radiotherapy Neon needed after the surgery to remove the tumour.
    Police took the unusual step of releasing a picture and making a nationwide appeal for help in finding mother and son after they vanished three weeks before Christmas 2012.
    The pair were found 48 hours later in East Grinstead, Sussex, where Sally had taken Neon for treatment in an oxygen chamber – and he was removed into the care and control of the Court of Protection. 
    What did not become clear at the time was the full family circumstances in which Sally found herself – trying to come to terms with a marriage breakdown as well as fighting for her son’s life.
    It has previously been suggested that the couple had split amicably after growing apart – but Sally is  adamant that was not the real reason.
    Ben, 35, the son of former actor and wealthy hotelier Christian Roberts, has known Michele for about 15 years, since he met her in Barbados when she was in a long-term relationship with the brother of a close friend.
    Sally, 38, was born and brought up in New Zealand, by her English mother Lillian and Kiwi father, Don, who worked for Air New Zealand.
    Ben and Sally met in 1999 in London when she came to Britain to follow her love of music and technology and enrolled on a sound engineering course. 
    They began a relationship and in 2000 moved to North Tawton, near Okehampton, in Devon, where they found their dream home – an 800-year-old, five-bedroom, detached property with room for a family to grow.
    Twins Neon Luca and Elektra Lily were born on April 2005 and enjoyed an idyllic upbringing surrounded by fields full of horses and woods in which to walk their dogs.
    Sally and Ben were convinced their love would last and married in November 2009. 
    But less than three years later their dreams lay in tatters when he confessed to an affair with Michele. 
    One close friend, who asked not to  be named, said: ‘Not surprisingly she had always had an odd relationship with Sally.
    Neon was taken into care after Sally took him for treatment in an oxygen chamber
    Neon was taken into care after Sally took him for treatment in an oxygen chamber
    ‘But Sally tried her best to get on with Michele because she acknowledged she was one of her partner’s oldest friends and felt secure in her love for Ben. How wrong she was.’
    Michele’s own career in music, as a composer in the ‘psychedelic trance genre’, and singer with the group Shpongle, led to a somewhat itinerant life of touring and gigging.
    Last week, she played a set at the after-party for Earthcore – which styles itself as an ‘outdoor music, arts and lifestyle experience’ – as part of its 20th anniversary celebrations in Melbourne. 
    On her Facebook page, which boasts upcoming shows in  Mexico and Sweden, Michele refers to herself as an ‘electro witch’.
    When not touring, she would often stay with Ben and Sally – sometimes for extended periods of up to three months before heading off again. 
    In May 2011, she moved into an annexe above the recording studio Sally and Ben had built in a former stables.  
    A relative said: ‘Sally had thrown herself into motherhood and thrived on it but Ben seemed to see her as something of a drudge, cooking meals, making sure homework was done and putting the kids to bed.
    ‘Michele was a distraction. She didn’t have any of those responsibilities and could be spontaneous. She was Ben’s “fun’’ woman and I could see the chemistry between them.’
    At the end of 2011, Michele left  for a tour of Australia, where her mother now lives. When she returned it was clear her relationship with Ben had deepened further.
    Finally, in May 2012, according to Sally, Ben confessed after she finally confronted him. He then left the marital home – only to move across the courtyard and into the stables with Michele.
    Another friend added: ‘It was an intolerable situation for Sally. They suggested she should leave but  she was determined to try to keep things going for the twins. She did her utmost to carry on as normal.
    ‘It was absolutely heartbreaking watching the kids because they were bewildered at just what was going on. They would ask why Daddy was living with another woman and was she going to become their Mummy too.’
    In October 2012, the house was sold and Sally, Ben and Michele went their separate ways. But the weekend they were moving out, Neon underwent surgery to have his tumour removed.
    The relative explained: ‘Sally was under the most phenomenal pressure. Her marriage had fallen apart as a result of an affair.
    ‘On top of that, her seven-year-old son was fighting for his life and she had to be strong for him too. Where she found that strength I don’t know, but she did. She was incredible.’
    None of the domestic background emerged in the High Court hearings – where Sally unsuccessfully challenged the accepted wisdom of conventional surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy for cancer. 
    Michele was never pictured at court with Ben but lived with him at his parents’ London flat.
    The two now share a rented property with Neon near Farnham, Surrey. Michele featured in a Channel 4 documentary last August when she was pictured cutting Neon’s hair.
    Back in North Tawton, the pieces of the jigsaw finally fell into place. One former neighbour said: ‘We always thought the set-up was a bit odd. 
    'We knew Sally was there but we knew Ben was seeing someone else. He and Michele would walk through the village hand in hand, sometimes with their arms around one another, and they were even spotted kissing in public.
    Sally unsuccessfully launched a challenge at the High Court over the accepted wisdom of conventional surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy for cancer
    Sally unsuccessfully launched a challenge at the High Court over the accepted wisdom of conventional surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy for cancer
    ‘But to all intents and purposes we all thought Ben and Sally were still together and married.’
    Sally now lives in Brighton with her daughter Elektra. Her mother Lillian, who has moved nearby to stay close to her daughter and grandchildren, admitted she had confronted Ben about his affair in early June 2012. 
    She said: ‘I asked him what the  hell was going on. I’m afraid I can’t repeat exactly what he said but he told me it was none of my business and to get off his property. 
    'I said I wasn’t going to leave because it was supposed to be the marital home and Michele shouldn’t have been there.’
    Sally’s father, Don, added: ‘It was heartbreaking to witness what  was going on. We only lived a mile up the road from our daughter and it was obvious what was happening between Ben and Michele.’
    Last night, Sally’s aunt, Sandy Lewis, said: ‘I told my niece and  my sister at the time that it wasn’t right a man bringing another woman into the marital home but they wouldn’t have it.
    ‘I was convinced their relationship was always more than just friends, and sadly I was proved right.’
    Ben’s father, Christian, when contacted at his London flat, said: ‘I’m not prepared to talk about that.’
    When asked about her affair with Ben, Michele said: ‘Oh God. I am going to have to say no comment. We came here in the hope that we would avoid the media because we wanted to create a safe environment for Neon.’
    But she continued: ‘I don’t know what to do. I’d love to put our side forward but the stance of Ben and his family is that this is a private matter and I have to respect his wishes. There’s no way you can speak to Ben.’
    When asked whether her relationship with Ben was the reason for his split from Sally, she added: ‘That’s not true, totally not true.’
    One tiny glimmer of light in this distressing tale is that Neon, who has suffered so much, is still very ill but cancer-free after nearly a year of treatment.